Some of the things I was dealing with: Anger, Bouts of rage, Impatience, Self loathing, Low Self-Esteem, Judgemental of self and others, Negative view of self and life even though on the outside I was seen as positive and a happy person, Depressed, ‘What’s the use’ attitude with way too many things in my life, life was an emotional and physical struggle that I was just sick and tired of dealing with. I would like to give my account of who I was before learning Transcendental Meditation, and who’ve I’ve become/ grown into being since leaning and practising it twice daily. How it has positively and profoundly impacted me, my life and those around me.

I must say upon reflection, I wasn’t really aware of how angry and impatient I had become and what the spin off effects in my life were. As it is with those two traits, there is a certain personal blindness that accompanies them. They are both hugely ego driven and as most of us know, ego is never eager to hear about how it is negatively impacting something or how it is hindering the self and those around us. Ego wants only two things, to be noticed and to be right.

I hadn’t noticed how intolerant I’d become of little unimportant things in my life.

Small things would annoy me and have me either swearing at it, mumbling something angry under my breath or sometimes throwing the thing that was annoying me. After the outburst be it loud of mumbled I’d be ok, I used to think. I used to laugh at how quick I could get angry and react, then be over it. Well, that wasn’t the truth, truth was that the boiling point would go down to a simmer, the anger was still there but not as prevalent that it boiled over.

Anger was with me all the time but only obvious when it got too much and it boiled over into a reaction. I hadn’t noticed how much/ often it was with me, I was so used to it that as long as on a scale of 1-10, it wasn’t an 8 or more then it went unnoticed by me.

Impatience was there as well. I think, now looking back that it was the impatience that would bring the anger to the surface. Low self-esteem, inability to regulate my inner voice and how I saw myself when I judged myself and the world around me was what fuelled a lot of what went on. I’m paraphrasing much larger issues I had, that everyone has to differing degrees, flavours and depths.

There was a lot of misunderstood ideas of who I was and the beliefs I’d formed about myself and the world around me. None of which was true or real. It was all in my head milling around, festering and erupting most times without warning.

When I first read about Transcendental Meditation and what it could do for you and how it could calm the mind, I had to know more.

I looked into it a bit more, watched a video of Dr John Hagelin explaining how Transcendental Meditation worked, the studies done over the years and the positive effects and outcomes from practising it daily.

I was hooked, I knew at that moment and I needed to learn this technique because my anger and impatience was something a few people had spoken to me about (very brave of them I must say, and I’m so grateful they did). I found Wendy Rosenfeldt through the TM page I’d found and from there I booked in to do the course.

Since doing the course and sitting twice daily to meditate I can truly say that my life did a 180 degree turn and what used to be intermittent or uncontrollable moments of anger, rage, sadness, impatience etc are now simply thoughts I have that have no tug or pull on me emotionally whatsoever.

Stunned, yes! Amazed, yes! Happy and relieved, yesssss! At ease in my skin and having an inner tempo that rarely gets above say a 2-3 on the 1-10 scale. On the odd occasion when I’m tired, stressed or have been running on empty I can get snippy and maybe get to a 6-7 after quite a few things annoying me.  However I can feel it coming on, I can sense it and because I’m so calm now days, I can let it come up and ‘respond’ to it with calmness and patience instead of how I used to ‘react’ to it with an outburst.

Where I used to say things like ‘oh,for fks sake!’, ‘just faaaaaaark off!’, ‘jeeeezuz fking chrst!’ etc so many times a day while dealing with things that would annoy or anger me or reading things or watching something on screen – to now where my go to is ‘coooome on nooooow’.

I am smiling and have an inner giggle as I type this because no one was as surprised as me when that came out of my mouth the first time in place of the usual sweating rants. I put different emphasis on those three words depending on what’s going on.

I am a different, calm and emotionally balanced person now, and I KNOW it’s all due to my learning and practising TM twice daily. No one can tell me different because the ‘feels’ inside of me are night and day to what they used to be.

I recommend this course with all my heart and soul. Wendy is a truly gentle and amazing soul doing what I know is changing the world, a person at a time. She loves what she does and she’s really great at it.

If you are thinking of doing this, for whatever reason you have, GO FOR IT.

You won’t look back, you will grow beyond who you are into a person you will be amazed at.

Open yourself up to letting the unwanted inside of you, to come out and leave. From me to you, all the very best and I wish you all the calm and self-respect you can fill yourself with.

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